The Last Place I Ever Thought To Look

thistle pussyblog

I learned yoni massage and pelvic release during my 3 year Tantra yoga certification program in the late ‘90s. But the profoundness of this work didn’t really sink in until recently, when last year I committed to my own daily pleasure practice, spending time with my lady Vagine for at least 30 minutes every day and writing about my experience.

 I initially began my devotional yoni practice as a way of taking responsibility for cultivating my own sexual desire, pleasure and oxytocin flow, and wean myself off of my dependency on men. Like yoga or meditation, I saw my pleasure practice as another way of loving myself.

 But midway through, my yoni practice deepened in unexpected ways that rocked my world. I experienced what most would consider the opposite of pleasure. Old wounds came to the surface with never before clarity. For example, I got to see actual scenes from my childhood, when I was molested by a close male relative that I hadn’t been able to fully access.

 And extreme emotions, like fear and shame, were heightened to the point where there was no more getting around them. I had to feel them. And some days it was all I could do.

 I didn’t know how to write about any of this in a way that might inspire other women – because I was right in the middle of it.

 As I touched into all of my buried pain through points inside my yoni, negative beliefs also began to surface-unconscious beliefs I’d held around my feminine being, body and sexuality (which is so ironic – because the focus of all of my creative work has been around liberating the Feminine.) Facing into these beliefs was extremely humbling. Again, I didn’t know how to share my experience with others in a way that was beyond what I judged to be self indulgent expression.

 But I continued to practice, and started to recognize unconscious patterns that had intermittently sabotaged my life around self worth and creative flow, my capacity to surrender, trust and receive, as well as not give away my energy and deplete myself.

And one by one the dots began to connect between these patterns and the subconscious beliefs I held around my feminine being, body and expression.

 All of this information was surfacing simply by holding and breathing into points inside my vagina. The last place I would ever think to look!

And I thought I loved my yoni. I didn’t even know her.

 I’d done everything from traditional psychotherapy to ayahuasca journeys to try to tap into my subconscious, when all I had to do was be present with my own vagina.

 What’s more is I’d been searching everywhere else for wisdom and direction, when my own divine authority has been right here all along, waiting for me inside my pelvic temple.

I now see my feminine organs as my elder council – my sacral lotus as my soul’s meditation cushion.

 I can’t begin to tell you the relief I feel to finally have a place inside myself to sit with doubt and return to trust again. The joy I feel coming home to my feminine being and body in a way that I’ve never loved Her before. It’s truly like being reunited with a twin flame.

 It is my greatest pleasure to share this sacred work with my sisters through the Women’s Sexual Mystery School.

 If your lady Vagine says YES go to my website www.SexualMystery.com right now and sign up!  Get on my email list and receive 3 tips to turn on your sexual super powers, along with updates about my future on line school coming next year. And let me know what you think about anything I’ve shared. I really want to hear from you! How does my story touch you? What will you take with you? If you have friends who would relate to or benefit from my story, please share this link with them.

Love and Shakti, Lisa

 

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