This weekend at the Lucidity Festival, the Goddess spoke to me in the form of a beautiful black man with long gray dread locks named Astarius Miraculii.
He poetically articulated my whole ideology around feminine pleasure and sex magic practices in a single word.
I am so incredibly turned on by this word, so lit up in every cell of my body, I had to share it with you:
My understanding is that Feminestation is a state of being that came before and exists beyond manifestation, which only exists in space and time.
This mother of manifestation helps me to understand why Bhakti beliefs and practices like gratitude and devotion are an integral part of bringing the formless into form. Because feminestation brings about manifestation.
Furthermore, while manifestation is a temporary state of gratification which comes and goes, as forms, relationships, jobs and moods change, feminestation is a continuous state of realization and fulfillment that is happening every moment.
The door to living in this realm of infinite possibility is through our feminine desire, which I define as the directional force of Creation flowing through us.
Just like humans make love to manifest new life forms, creativity is a sexual experience. Life is always making love with itself. We just don’t see it. But we can become more aware of this sexual, creative flow of life through our breath.
We can live in a state of desire and fulfillment even if we’re single!
We don’t have to have a romantic interest to desire and feel desired, to love and be loved. We can tap into the flow of desire without any apparent object to give our love to or receive love from.
Or if we have specific unmanifested objects in mind, like a lover or career opportunity that has yet to show up in our lives, we can feed our objects with our desire and simultaneously be fulfilled by them. Life force is harnassed (brought into manifestation) by the directional force of Creation, and every object of our desire already exists (in formlessness), just waiting for our awareness to bring it into form.
Just like it takes a male sperm and female ovum to make a baby, Creation is a dual effort. We can feel the dual feminine and masculine forces flowing through us in each in and out breath.
We can become aware of, become vessels of feminine receptivity on the inhale, allowing all of life to fill us in the way a lover fills us.
This can be an intensely pleasurable or uncomfortable experience, depending on how much fear we hold inside.
I once did a shamanic journey where I tapped into my own fear.
Having done a lot of emotional release work in the past, I was shocked to discover how much contraction and fear was still present. I literally shook and sweated for hours. I felt like I was sitting on top of a volcano that was erupting through me and if I didn’t breathe deep enough I would spontaneously combust from the pressure and heat.
At some point every cell in my body became a hologram for my whole body and even the whole universe. I could feel each cell ready to explode and both my desire for that explosion and my fear of it. As I expanded into the contracted spaces with my breath, my experience shifted from one of terror to ecstasy.
Though I did not experience ecstatic birth when my daughter was born, I imagine this process of expanding into contractions was similar to mothers who have.
On the inhale, every cell in my body became like a tiny vagina, expanding and opening to receive life. I became the vessel for feminine receptivity on the inhale.
And the force of every exhale was like a cock penetrating my cells. I became the vessel for the cock of life or the masculine offering itself to life flowing through me. Talk about whole body multiple orgasms!
At the time my experience was too big to understand on a personal level. Six years later I am still integrating the journey. But what I know to be true is this flow of feminine receptivity on the inhale and masculine offering on the exhale is the flow of Creational desire.
The more we tap into this flow of desire, the more electrically charged we are to attract and bring our desires into form. In other words, practicing Feminestation is the prerequisite to manifestation.
Or in spank talk, by feeling ourselves as giant vaginas being penetrated by and receiving all of life on the inhale, we feel our innate desirability, life’s desire to fuck us.
And on the exhale, when we become the vessels for the universal cock, we feel our desire to penetrate and participate in Creation.
We can literally walk around being fucked by and fucking life all day long. We can tap into the sexual, creative flow of life making love to itself every moment.
Even when we’re full of fear or the despair of not having what we want in our lives at the moment, we can expand into the contractions we feel in our bodies on the inhale, and fuck our pain open and back to love with our twelve inch exhale.
We can live in the ecstatic state of Feminestation, letting forms come and go as they will, knowing that they and we exist beyond form.