I consider myself a sexual narcissist. But even though it’s all about me in the bedroom, my unabashed selfishness or selfullness usually ends up serving my lover as well.
I may not share my secret narcissistic thoughts and world. Those with lesser egos wouldn’t understand.
For example, I believe everything in this dimension is a hologram of my Self, just as I am a part of everything else’s hologram. So when I am pleasuring my lover, I am really pleasuring my Self.
Take giving head for instance. Sure I am turned on by the masculine majesty of my man’s cock. Sure I am turned on by my love for him and by the pleasure he receives from me sucking his cock. But what really turns me on is knowing that his cock is an extension of his spine and coccyx. Which is really an extension of my spine and coccyx. So when I’m sucking my man’s cock, I’m really sucking my own clit (or my coccyx extension). Similar to how dogs lick themselves.
And I can feel it, me sucking myself! Every tease of my tongue, every gentle tug on the head, my clit actually lengthens and thickens.
And my man can feel it too, my insatiable sucking hunger, my wet, aroused clit. He just doesn’t know the specifics.
My pleasure heightens when we go back and forth between sucking and fucking, because then I get to smell and lick my juices off his/my extended coccyx .
On a primordial level it’s also very grounding and completing to be sucking myself. Similar to ancient carvings of snakes that swallow their own tails or how spirals have no beginning or end.
In Tantra there is an energetic channel, known as susshumna, up the front of the spine that connects our root chakra, where we know ourselves as incarnate beings, to the crown chakra, where we know ourselves as formless Being. Though this channel seems linear up the center of the body, it feels more circular or spiral. Similar to fractals or how we begin as a fetus, more curved than straight.
Here’s my theory.
One of the first things to form in an embryo is the brain, followed by the spine. So spirit descends into matter down the outer or back of the spine. To re-member our divine blueprint or know our Self, we must raise this energetic information up the inner or front of the spine back to the pineal gland in the center of the brain where we began.
Unfortunately there is a split in between the outer/back and inner/front of the spine. This gap is known as the root chakra or perineum. So drawing this energetic information from back base of the spine through the root chakra up the front of the spine requires some effort. In Tantra, this effort is described as sipping or sucking energy up as if through a straw with our genitals. By inhaling and sucking this energetic information up the front of the spine through genital contraction, we raise it vibrationally up the chakras, returning it to the pineal gland, where we have the awareness to understand it.
So by sucking my man’s cock or my clit or our coccyx, I am drawing energetic information up the front of his/my spine back to our pineal gland to remember our original blueprint.
Or if you prefer visuals, I’m sucking, stretching his cock/my clit/our extended spine until it reaches around to our pineal gland where it began.
I could go on and on-about how my tongue on the roof of my mouth somehow connects my body and my head, giving me a feeling of groundedness and completion-and how when my lover’s cock is resting on my tongue, pressed up against the roof of my mouth, I feel the instant gratification of my root and crown chakras connecting-I feel my holy humanness, my incarnate divinity-and how when I deep throat my lover’s cock and trigger my gag reflex, I can feel my vagina releasing and opening as well as my larynyx.
Tantric experiments are where my sexy and nerdy girl meet.
I’m guessing high sex blow jobs may be too esoteric for the masses. It’s not something I ever think about until now as I’m trying to explain it. But as I write about my sexy nerdy blow job meditation I realize there’s something sacred going on beneath my erotic narcissism. I share my experience because I know many women who don’t enjoy giving head because they feel there’s nothing really in it for them. They see sucking cock as an act of pleasuring another.
But women have just forgotten that all sex comes from and resides in the Mind of Woman. All sexual practices and experiences, all means and levels of desire, pleasure and intimate connection are by our design.
And like everything else in the Feminine Mind, so the erotic arts have sacred as well as practical purposes. Yes, even blow jobs. As women rediscover the sacred in the sexual, we free ourselves from distortions and awaken our divine feminine intelligence and power.
So tell me sisters, what’s your secret high sex practice?
